Apol Saimon1232's blog : I Just Opened Facebook and Almost Dropped My Phone
I Just Opened Facebook and Almost Dropped My Phone
(The silent apocalypse that started on December 19, 2025)
Last night, with zero announcement, Meta flipped a switch.
Every single photo in the Facebook app now has a tiny purple sparkle in the bottom-right corner.
Tap it once and whatever embarrassing picture you took in 2013, 2017, or last Tuesday turns into a $4,000 studio portrait in under eight seconds.
It’s called AI Reshoot. It’s live for every one of the 3 billion users. And it’s completely free.
What actually happens when you tap the sparkle
- It re-lights your face with perfect 45° octabox + subtle rim light
- It swaps the background for whatever is currently crushing on executive LinkedIn (blurred plants, warm walnut, faint city glow)
- It dresses you in a perfectly tailored blazer or cashmere crew-neck that fits your exact shoulders and neck
- It fixes skin, teeth, hair flyaways, glasses glare, red-eye, double chin, everything
- It keeps your real expression and eye direction so you still look like you, just the version that clearly has money and taste
No subscription. No watermark. No “upgrade to pro” screen.
The nuclear prompts I discovered in the last 24 hours
Tap the sparkle → tiny text field appears → type any of these:
- corporate 2026
- venture-backed founder
- Forbes editorial
- minus 7 years natural
- navy blazer white shirt no tie
- light like Platon
- background: Manhattan at blue hour
- same style across entire album
It obeys like a genie that studied every 2025 mood board on Earth.
What I did this morning with decade-old trash
- 2018 conference selfie under fluorescent hell-light → typed “corporate 2026” → now my new company website headshot
- 2021 friend’s wedding album → selected 31 photos of myself → typed “consistent executive style” → instant 31-slide keynote of perfect portraits
- 2016 gym mirror pic → typed “charcoal blazer, SoHo loft background” → suddenly look like I own the building
Current bugs (almost none)
- Visible hands = 7 % chance of bonus finger
- Heavy stubble + “minus 10 years” can look like Instagram face
- Neon signs in original background sometimes bleed a little
For standard head-and-shoulders corporate/creator use: basically flawless.
The quiet part
Right now, while you’re reading this, thousands of realtors, lawyers, seed-stage founders, and recently single people are silently batch-reshooting their entire 15-year archives.
By February 2026 there will not be a single bad photo left on Facebook.
Open the app. Find the most cursed picture AI app for Facebook pictures of yourself that still exists online.
Tap the purple sparkle. Watch ten years of bad decisions and worse lighting disappear in real time.
The future didn’t arrive. It just quietly retouched your past.
